The Warmongers vs The Peacemakers (Inner Struggle of Balance)

OMG, my blog has 2000+ views! When did it happen? Hooray!!

I haven't updated this blog in quite a while due to personal trials and tribulations, I've finally managed to make time for myself.


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My thoughts of the day led me to thinking about the importance of balance in life. Some people reading this may have noticed these few things:

1) People who cry at a regular basis (2-3 times a year)
2) People who nurture a good hobby/interest they are passionate about to relief stress
3) People who have good, reliable friends (or girlfriends/boyfriends) they can express all their happy and sad times

All 3 types of the people above are technically "healthy" emotionally and spiritually, they are able to regulate their emotions and balance out their "other side".

Yes, we all have our "other sides" within us. It's just about how well we attempt to understand it, that's all. I'm sure we can all agree that each and every human is potentially capable of the most violent and selfish acts if we choose to do so. That's our nature, it's unavoidable...

My solution to this is simple: Learn to Understand it and accept it as part of myself.

Okay....maybe that doesn't explain itself. I will explain the method I use on a daily basis:

Identifying the Warmonger and Peacemaker in You

It is my belief that there are 2 kinds of approach as good people in this world that attempts to achieve understandings. It is unquestionable that we have both of these things inside us...

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1) The Warmonger (W)

A "Warmonger" is a characteristic which is to actively seek out misunderstandings, conflict of interests and confront it (with words or with violence). The general idea is that a confrontation will ultimately achieve a compromise and both sides will respect each other's decisions, strength, values and principles. You'd notice that people who prefer this approach will thrive in challenges, confrontations and are absolutely thrilled when they encounter others with strong yet different perspectives in life, values, principles and even hobbies.

However, there is a slight gamble because arguments and "enemies" could potentially stay unresolved for variable amount of time (6months - 5 years) before a resolution is reached. This is due to the difference in amount of time each human needs for growth, maturity and learning experiences in life to understand one another...

Note: A mellowed out yet widely practiced method is used and encouraged in western cultures, children are taught from a young age to question/challenge other's ideas and thoughts and gain a mutual understanding about others as well as themselves in the process. In Asian culture, it is perceived to be destructive, insulting and intentional hostility to do so. However, times are changing...

2) The Peacemaker (P)

The "peacemaker" approach is very simple and easy - to do "Nothing". When others voice out their opinions, beliefs or principles which might probably conflict with your own, just give a gentle smile and give a nod of approval without any drastic actions taken. IF there are any quarrels or arguments between people you know, peacemaker approach will compel you to stay neutral and attempt to stop the arguments by making both parties stop arguing/confronting each other on-the-spot (to avoid any potential violent acts). Basically, a direct opposite to the Warmonger's approach to achieving understanding.

Peacemakers choose to avoid and avert arguments, quarrels and fighting whenever possible. The main objective is to achieve compromise and understandings through words, discussions and talks alone. Very much encouraged in small matters and trivial matters, the problem arises when peacemaker approach is used in larger problems which require a direct confrontation.

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We will end up using both approaches in our daily life when socializing and meeting new people outside in urban society. From what I see (here in Malaysia), the general population are pretty much 10% (W)/90% (P). However, it isn't quite balanced and will result in horrible outcomes. To maintain good health emotionally and spiritually, we should manage and "attempt" to understand our own thoughts and behaviors as well as others. The ideal (yet achievable) situation would be:

A - 40% (W) & 60%(P)

B - 60% (P) & 40 (W)

Consequences of Lacking Balance

There are dire consequences when we cannot regulate our emotions and behavior (Occasionally) by confiding to a good friend or family member in our everyday life.

1. Warmonger-dominant people will suffer emotional breakdowns and wallow in self-pity for their inability to achieve peaceful resolutions. This will happen because the man/woman in question actually has a side of them which also wants to seek peace but is in deep conflict and denial about it.
2. Peacemaker-dominant people will snap, they succumb to the raw emotions of Wrath, Envy, Lust and end up hurting themselves as well as others around them. This happens due to the constant bottling and resisting the basic human urge to express themselves openly.

~END~

PS: I will assert that these are all personaly opinions which are based on observations, experiences and heart-to-heart talks with people I've encountered (Age 18-45) throughout my life. I hope that this article will help somebody out there gain a better understanding of themselves and others around him/her. Thank You.

Music Dilemma: Live vs Recording

Between people involved in the music "Scene", there are people that give their 2 cents on what "Real Music" is. They claim that majority of musics you see in the Billboard Top 100 is manufactured music. This is especially true with the Korean Pop Wave hitting Malaysia. Songs like "Gee" by Girls Generation, "Nobody" by Wonder Girls, "Sorry" by Super Junior flood the radio and has distorted the meaning of music to the masses. (Then again, it has always been distorted ever since the 90s, hasn't it?)

"I do not believe that recorded music is "Real Music". Seeking to gain perfection through repeated attempts of doing recording merely shows ignorance towards acknowledgement of our imperfection as humans. A live performance of music is greater than the number of mistakes made in it."

Collin Davis, 1996

"The development of new recording technologies has raised the standard of perfection in the industry. With many production companies, every attempt is made to end up with a perfect performance. Giving the public unrealistic expectations and an untrue performance does a disservice to the live performing arena. "

Antal Dorati, 1996

“The danger of a record is that it catches a moment’s expression and eternalizes it in a way which shouldn’t be. It’s like a photograph which catches a person in a moment, and if you don’t know  that person, then that moment is a false impression.”

Antal Dorati, 1996

The quotes above are comments by professionals towards music industry more than 10 years ago, which has become the truth for that matter.

Music is a form of expression, it is a medium used to send a message, feeling or emotion to another person or many people for that matter.

However, the modern trend in music has lost majority of it's meaning.  Corporate leaders in the music business recycle the 4 Chords of Pop which "sounds good" and is appealing to the majority consumers which are youngsters (Age 24 and below, but Your Mileage May Vary).

I don't personally detest or hate recordings. In fact, it is a fantastic peach of technology and tool to spread music over to many people within a short period of time. The problem is that majority of people has misinterpret that Recordings = Everything in music which isn't true. If you look at James Brown, his live performances are said to be unforgettable and has inspired many famous musicians to date including Michael Jackson!

Don't give me that bullshit about how everybody's taste is different in music, the fact remains that majority readers fall victim to having not witnessed a live music performance which is eternally grafted into your memory and influence your perspective in life for years, NOT days to come! I'll make it easy for you though, Bruno Mars's Grenade is popular right? Try looking at the Live version of it being performed in Las Vegas Here. Now imagine if you saw that live, I almost guarantee that you won't forget that moment.

Don't know who this is? You've not seen real music yet!

The bottom line is, YOUR perception (Yes, You) regarding music needs to change. There are many  great songs that have been written and performed but are never given a chance because those marketing guys and talent scouts out there don't know what music is themselves. Don't take my word for it, try listening to these music with an open mind:

Andy Timmons - Electric Gypsy

Vanilla Unity - Hey Monster!

Joe Satriani - Ten Words

3rd Coast - Everything
Olivia Ong - Sweet Memories

What is this thing you call love?

As tvtropes article mentions:


"What is love? For humans, it's an emotion that can be the greatest antidote for misery, and a major cause of misery. Unfortunately, that transcendental quality doesn't translate too well into words, which is why love remains only a four-letter word for many non-humans  most humans for that matter)."


You can feel it, see how it affects things around you and yourself. Yet, you can't see it with your eyes or write it down on a piece of paper the way you sum up a mathematics question. Perhaps that is why we keep trying to seek it out without ever knowing exactly what it is.


It occurred to me that there are 2 kinds of love in this world - Conditional Love & Unconditional Love.

So much for Education = Success in Life eh?

Conditional Love


This is the one we see everyday, as seen in a website dedicated to doing their best to explain what is and isn't love:


"Our misconceptions of unconditional love began in early childhood, where we saw that when we did all the right things—when we were clean, quiet, obedient and otherwise “good”—people “loved” us. They smiled at us and spoke in gentle tones. But we also saw that when we were “bad,” all those signs of “love” instantly vanished. In short, we were taught by consistent experience that love was conditional, that we had to buy “love” from the people around us with our words and behavior."


In case I'm talking to a Malaysian (Yes, YOU!), it basically means:


Do Good/Be Nice/Help Out = Get Love, Kindness, Special Treatment etc.


It's no secret, we've been taught this since we were babies till we end up in urban society, working off our asses to get "Favors" from our higher ups. THIS is the love we are know very clearly in this world.


Don't get me wrong, conditional love is very much applicable in some parts of our lives. Example, the business world AKA the urban war zone. "You scratch my back, I might scratch yours", the gentleman's agreement for that matter which helps in the first stage of building a good business relationship and hopefully a great partnership.


Unconditional Love


It is a known fact: There are MANY people reading this who probably have never received any teeny bit of this and probably never realized what it was because of the way it was packaged and presented to you.


In Mandarin, there is an idiom that is translated as "Good medicine, Bitter Taste". Which applies to Unconditional Love AKA TRUE LOVE as well. Due to the nature of the society we live in, it's hard to see it. What would you expect from a living environment which applies the law of the jungle in it's own way, strong survive and the weak perish? Every Man for Himself!


Summary: Unconditional Love means to care for another person's wellbeing regardless of the benefits/losses that fall upon yourself. 


Easier said than done, considering that we latch onto anything that can potentially brings to us benefits/money/pleasure when the opportunity presents itself.


So far, I've seen unconditional love showing itself in 2 ways. Firstly, the maternal love of a mother towards her own son or daughter. Secondly, an old man giving advises to you when you're heading down the wrong path in life.


DO NOT give me that bullshit about "I love my boyfriend/girlfriend and I'm willing to do anything for him/her!" Tell me that when I point a gun at her and say: "If you want me to spare her, I will KILL you!" 


Unconditional Love isn't that thing you feel when you see that person every time , you may not even feel it while performing and showing it to others. Only the receiver can feel it based on your actions and the meaning behind the actions if you choose to reveal it to him/her.


From a self-help website, I very much agree to it:


"It's critical that we be able to distinguish between Real Love and conditional love. When we can't do that, we tend to settle for giving and receiving conditional love, which leaves us empty, unhappy, and frustrated. Fortunately, there are two reliable signs that love is not genuine: disappointment and anger. Every time we frown, sigh with disappointment, speak harshly, or in any way express our anger at other people, we're communicating that we're not getting what we want. At least in that moment, we are not caring for our partner's happiness, but only for our own. Our partner then senses our selfishness and feels disconnected from us and alone, no matter what we say or do."


To all you lovebirds out there who ever reads finish that entire article, I guarantee this truth:


It's not about always being there for her, it's about being there when she needs you the most.






If you managed to read finish this article, try reading it again in 3-6 months. I assure you that you will understand it differently if you give yourself a chance to understand it all over again, come again!